5 of Peter Kay’s Best Jokes and One-Liners Ever

After a 12-year hiatus, the renowned comedian Peter Kay is back in the spotlight, delighting audiences with his hilarious jokes and one-liners as he embarks on a highly anticipated comeback tour. Join us as we celebrate his return by showcasing the top 5 funniest moments from his legendary career.

Renowned comedian Peter Kay, known for his successful TV shows and stand-up performances, has recently returned to the spotlight after a 12-year hiatus.

With upcoming arena shows, an AO Arena residency, and the honour of headlining the opening night at Manchester's Co-op Live, Kay's comedic prowess continues to captivate audiences.

As he makes a triumphant return to the stage, we have handpicked the top 5 funniest jokes and one-liners that showcase Kay's unmatched comedic talent. Get ready to laugh as we take you on a hilarious journey through the best moments from the career of this legendary comedian.

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Phoenix Nights

'Phoenix Nights' is the iconic show that catapulted Peter Kay into fame and firmly established him in the comedy sphere. Set in the Bolton-based working men's club known as 'The Phoenix Club', the series revolves around the club, its rival establishment, and the colourful characters that frequent it.

In the show, Kay played wheelchair user, Brian Potter who wanted his club to become the most popular in Bolton and chased many ridiculous pursuits in the hope of reaching the top.

Not short of famed jokes, 'Phoenix Nights' saw many hilarious moments. Still, our favourite has to be ‘Family Fun Day’ with an inflatable castle gone wrong, a portable toilet come playroom, and Jerry the Berry. Check it out!

Max and Paddy’s Road to Nowhere

Once 'The Phoenix Club' closed, Kay moved on to his next venture with fellow comedian, Paddy McGuiness. ‘Max and Paddy’s Road to Nowhere’ followed two Phoenix bouncers taking on the open road in their motorhome.

This comedy duo produced some great one-liners and jokes throughout the series in the early 2000s from sending a cow flying off the road to stealing back their motorhome.

But, our top pick from the show has got to be when Max and Paddy found themselves in prison facing a great deal of hilarious issues including an odd singing cellmate, a breakout attempt and a shower confrontation. Watch it now!

Peter Kay’s Car Share

‘Peter Kay’s Car Share’ saw the comedian take a different approach, basing an entire series within the setting of a car.

The series follows John (Peter) and Kayleigh sharing a lift to work together. However, the pair never seem to have a simple journey, coming across many bumps in the road!

Winning ‘Best Comedy’ at the 2016, 2018, and 2019 National Television Awards, the show was a huge success, but our favourite joke from the series was when John and Kayleigh kidnapped a monkey after enjoying a zoo drive-through.

If this made you laugh, check out our blog on ‘When is Peter Kay touring?’ to find out how you can laugh along with Kay live on tour!

Peter Kay: Live at the Top of the Tower

In 2000, Peter headed to Blackpool to complete a set of shows at the top of Blackpool Tower. The show saw hilarious joke after hilarious joke full of relatable real-life content with a humorous twist.

Kay didn’t make it easy for us to choose our top moment from the show, but the one that made us laugh the most was when Peter acted out ‘going on holiday’.

In this joke, he talks about getting excited for a holiday at work, packing things you don’t need, dads going out to find pubs on holiday, and of course his famous ‘big light’ and ‘garlic bread’ one-liners.

You have to check this one out, it is brilliant!

The Tour That Doesn’t Tour Tour… Now On Tour

The last tour Kay completed after sadly cancelling his planned dates due to family circumstances, was ‘The Tour That Doesn’t Tour Tour… Now On Tour’.

Beginning as a Manchester residency, the tour saw crowds cackling with laughter throughout as Kay tapped into his staple affectionate comedic tone of finding the funny in the everyday.

Full of amazing skits the tour includes our absolute favourite, Peter’s disastrous trip to the dentist. We love this one so much because Kay doesn’t give us enough time to finish laughing at one joke before he moves on to the next.

If this clip has made you want to see Peter live on tour, keep reading as we explain how you can be there!

How can I see Peter Kay live and in style in Manchester?

Get ready to witness the comedic brilliance of Peter Kay as he takes the stage at AO Arena in Manchester for an impressive run of 42 shows. These highly anticipated dates currently span from 17th May 2024 to 20th September 2025.

Don't miss out on the opportunity to be part of this unforgettable event! Elevate your experience by reserving your spot at The Mezz, the newest luxury facility at the AO Arena, which promises an unparalleled premium hospitality experience right at the heart of the excitement. Here's a sneak peek of what awaits you: